DSM Therapy Blog 01/30/2017

Aloha,

I read this beautiful article on-line today, and I wanted to share it as a resource for married couples. Its a short read, and is full of useful and practical advice. Now, you don’t have to adhere all of the advice in this article. But if you and your spouse practice or utilize just one or two of them, you might see a difference in the connection that you already share. Try some of them, try them all, mix them up. Its a positive change that you may need for your relationship.

Mahalo,
Danelle SK Medeiros
DSM Therapeutic and Wellness Center LLC
http://www.dsmtherapy.com
danelle@dsmtherapy.com

Here’s the article in full.

10 Habits of Really Happy Couples

It seems like a happy relationship should come naturally when you’re with the right person, but that’s not true. Relationships require work. Happy couples have to maintain their relationships every day with love and care, but it’s not as daunting of a task as it may seem. There’s no real “secret” to having a happy relationship, but there are things you can do to make it all come more easily. Try to integrate these habits into your daily life and see how much happier your relationship can be.

1. Go to bed at the same time.

I used to think it was silly to want to go to bed at the same time as my partner, but it does wonders for your relationship! If one of us stays up later than the other, our whole evening feels off. There’s something cozy about sliding under the covers together, talking about what happened during the day or what’s on the list for tomorrow. My fiancé works the night shift, and without realizing it, my schedule also changed until I was a night owl, doing my freelance work during the late hours while he was at his job. When he came home early in the morning, I’d go to bed with him just to get that connection you can only get from sleeping and waking up together.

 

2. Cultivate common interests.

It’s important to keep your own hobbies when you’re part of a couple, of course, because you want to stay true to yourself and not change your personality. But you and your partner can cultivate common interests without changing who either of you are, and it will make your relationship stronger as a result. I love reading and writing, which are typically solitary hobbies, but my fiancé doesn’t hesitate to grab a book and sit next to me on the couch, or he’ll write a story too, and we can give each other feedback. He loves painting, and I can hardly draw a stick figure, but when he asks me to help him with a painting, I love to try and do my best with bright streaks of color. As a result, we’ve both found that it doesn’t matter what you do together (or in the case of my painting attempts, how well you do it), just that you’re doing enjoyable things together.

3. Walk hand in hand.

My hatred of hand-holding started in elementary school, when you had to hold hands with a buddy so you wouldn’t get lost on a field trip. Since then, I’ve never held hands with anyone and not gotten immediately sweaty palms. It’s one of the worst feelings! With my partner, though, I love holding hands. It makes me feel so happy and connected to him just to hold hands as we walk through the neighborhood, or even around the grocery store. Even if we don’t hold hands, we keep pace and walk side by side. I find that more often than not, my hand either finds his, or I slide my arm around his waist. There’s something really nice about walking perfectly in step with your partner.

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode.

It’s so easy to fight about stupid nothings and hold a grudge, but that’s not the way to be happy in a relationship. You have to forgive your partner after a fight, even if it’s something major. You might feel like they’ve betrayed your trust, but if you don’t give them another chance, then your relationship can never feel natural again. There will always be a rift because you don’t trust your partner, and feel like any time your back is turned, they’ll be doing something hurtful. On the other side, your partner won’t feel loved in the relationship because they’ll have never gotten your full forgiveness. Let your heart love easier by truly forgiving and honestly trusting your partner.

5. Focus on what your partner does right, not wrong.

No one likes a nit-pick! Don’t chastise your partner every time you think they do something wrong. There are nice ways to inform someone if they hurt your feelings, or to correct them if they do something in a bad way. But instead of yelling at your partner for breaking a plate, thank them for washing the dishes for you—hey, soap makes things slippery! Your partner will appreciate that you’re seeing the positive things they’re bringing to the relationship, and being more positive and complimentary will make you feel better than being negative all the time.

6. Hug each other when you see each other after work.

This one is easy—who doesn’t want to melt into a comforting hug after a hard day? And if you had a good day, share your excitement with a hug. You can’t beat ’em. And once you start hugging, you’ll feel so much happier that you’ll find it easier to make time to cuddle with your partner instead of getting stressed by the things you need to get done around the house.

7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning.

Another easy tip! Saying sweet words to each other is never a waste of breath. My fiancé and I say “I love you” any time we part—whether it’s on the phone, when he leaves for work, when I run an errand. It makes you feel much happier, and is always a good note to end on when you go about your days.

8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel.

Same with “Have a good day,” saying “Good night” when you and your partner go to bed puts a nice, loving haze on the end of the day. My fiancé and I have a nightly routine we say before falling asleep. I won’t reveal it here because it’s special to us, but it includes “Good night,” “I love you,” and other nice phrases that make you feel good and inspire sweet dreams!

9. Do a “weather” check during the day.

A “weather” check is where you call your partner during the day to see how they are. A caring phone call or text can really brighten their day and show them that you’re thinking of them. As an added bonus, it gives you a heads up about how their day is going. If they’re having a tough time, you can curb your happiness about a work promotion and be more sympathetic as soon as you get home. You can tailor your attitude to make them feel that much better when you both get home.

10. Be grateful for what you have.

This is the simplest tip of all, because if you’re in a relationship, you clearly value your partner. Be thankful that you have someone you love who loves you back. Be thankful that they help you with household chores and support you during tough times and cheer you on during the good times. Look at your partner as much as you can and just smile that you have them by your side.

 

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Gratitude : Mahalo

mahalo-600x600

A simple word that means a lot.

This word is often defined as “thank you”. There is really more to this word than just thank you. From the Traditional meaning, it means thank you for sharing your time and your spirit with me. When we take this word to a deeper level, there is a connection that is made.  A bond is created, and gratitude for one another is deeper. Living on an island, people had a stronger connection with each other. There was a stronger sense of dependence with one another. In order to survive, everyone was important to the community. No one was greater than any other one. Everyone gave and everyone partook equally. Everyone know this, and everyone followed this without hesitation.
In today’s world, we have much to be thankful for. Many of us are blessed with abundance, and yet we are always striving to acquire more. There is an old saying that goes like this “you have to stop and smell the roses”, and we must. Having gratitude and expressing it creates a very positive energy to everyone around you. Gratitude is a basic function of life, just like taking a breath of air when your body needs it. It helps us to survive, and more so, it allows us to be happy and balanced. So to show gratitude is the ultimate gesture of appreciation for everything around you. Because everything is affected by the kind of energy that you possess, and the kind of energy that you emit.
One last note, it takes the same amount of energy to make the decision to show gratitude or to show ungratefulness. Think about that. The amount of energy that it takes you to make a decision, either way, is the same amount of energy regardless of the decision that you make. Why not make a good decision.
So when we say Mahalo to each other, the correct and proper response would be to say “Mahalo to you”.

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Patients’ Responsibilities

Patients’ Responsibilities

Patients receiving behavioral health services from DSM Therapeutic and Wellness Center LCC have the following responsibilities:

  • To provide complete and accurate information to service provider. This ensures members are provided with quality services.
  • To be an active participant in their treatment planning and recovery process.
  • To follow the plans and instructions for care that they have agreed upon with their service provider.
  • To know how to access behavioral health care services in routine, urgent, and emergency situations.
  • To make known questions, complaints, comments, problems, and suggestions regarding health care service delivery.
  • To request information and referrals in regard to health care or health care benefits.
  • To be up to date with payments insurance information and co-payments.

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